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A Prisoner of Our Excuses

6/4/2013

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I can’t tell you how many times people write, call or text me asking for help in one form or another. Upon digging further I discover that most people know on some level or another what they need to do to make a change. The issue usually comes when I hold them to it and expect them to make the change. Then it becomes a case of “oh I really can’t because of this, that and the other.” Name an excuse, I’ve heard it, and even used it myself. I often ask myself in each situation is it that the person truly cannot? Or is it that they WILL NOT. There is a difference there. There is a difference between being faced with obstacles and finding a way to make it happen versus being faced with an obstacle and allowing it to become a crutch or an excuse. And more importantly, after telling the same excuse over and over again, you begin to believe it and it becomes your perceived reality. 

Look, I get that my service costs money and financial issues are real issues. I get that time is a real factor and we all wish we had a few more hours in the day. Oh and yes, we are moms and parenting responsibilities never end.  Believe it or not I assess all this on a case-by-case basis and if all other things are in place and you are willing to work just as hard as I will work for you then yeah, I’ll work with you and meet you where you’re at. Most people just don’t display that level of commitment for me take that next step with them. 

So the next time you look at yourself in the mirror and lament the shape of your whatever and the need to lose weight. Ask what is truly keeping you from making the changes you need to make. What is keeping you from taking that next step? If you’re truly honest with yourself you’ll find that your reasons for not taking action are merely excuses. What will it take for you to break free and ditch the excuse and achieve the best you possible?
 



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Spring ALREADY???

4/9/2013

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The realization hit me this weekend. The weather
was gorgeous and I had to switch out closets. And in switching out closets came another realization. Summer is around the corner? Are you ready??? I can hear many of your screaming NO-OOO! I remember what that was like. In winter I was covered from head to toe. I was hardly thinking about wearing a bathing suit or tank tops. But when spring came around it was a reminder of the neglect and relaxed attitude of the winter. Believe me I get it. But rather than lamenting over the fact that you didn’t do anything to get ready, get up and get going. My mantra is “it’s never too late, get started NOW”. The emphasis of course is not to go on a crash diet and buckle down until the end of summer. I’m talking about a change in lifestyle and how you think about food and weight loss with an emphasis on making lasting changes that you can sustain over the long term. The sooner you get out of the mindset of scrambling to lose weight before [insert date/event] the easier it will be to get and keep the body you really want. I know it’s Spring already. It’s not too late. Change your habits now and get started on the journey to the best you imaginable. There are a ton of challenges, programs and plans you can get started on. All it takes is taking the first step today. Not on Monday, not on May 1st and not on the first day of summer. Do it NOW.

If you need help figuring out what YOUR first step should be. Contact me and I’ll help you think through it. 



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How Are Those Resolutions Going?

2/20/2013

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We are 7 weeks into the New Year and I just wanted to check in and see how everyone’s New Year’s resolutions are going? I know you all didn’t think I was just going to let you slide with ZERO accountability. This particular blog post occurred as a result of a conversation I had with my kids over breakfast the other day. They were talking about their New Year’s resolutions and I had been asking them how that had been going so far. They had begun the year with gusto and excitement to make these awesome changes, Zandi wanted to eat more vegetables and Tanatswa wanted to avoid saying no to mommy. Initially they had been on top of it and I watched them daily as they worked on their resolutions, then it became a little more sporadic, every few days they would get back on them. Seven weeks have passed, there is very little activity related to the resolutions and they are almost ashamed to talk about them. I try to reassure them that it’s ok that they haven’t been consistent and that they can just resume. Unfortunately the excitement is gone and there is not much I can do to get them to be excited about their resolutions.

Take my kids out of the picture and insert yourself and your own New Year’s resolution to lose weight. Do you notice any similarities? I can bet you here are. I know this because I began working with some ladies who were initially excited about their new year’s resolutions and yet as the time went by they were less excited about their resolutions, some even wanted to quit. The reason why these ladies are still on their journey even though the initial excitement of the New Year has worn off is as follows:


1.     Having a plan
The ladies that began working with me started with a plan. It was well thought out and well designed with their specific goals in mind. They are less likely to fall off the wagon because they have a clear road map to get them where they want to be. I learned this on my own journey over the years. If you attempt to fly by the seat of your pants, you are setting yourself up for failure. Review my New Year’s Resolutions Webinar and create a road map to get you to your destination. Or better still contact me and let me help you plan a sure fire way to get you going and on your way towards your goals. 

2.     21 days to a habit
I love this one and those who have been watching me over the last few weeks know what I’m talking about. I resumed my fitness journey (after having taken over 2 weeks off from the gym due to my travels followed by the flu). It was hard getting back in the gym and I felt like a newbie. I had a tough time waking up and my endurance and strength had declined significantly. But I committed to 21 days and sure enough it’s been well over 21 days and my gym habit is back. I knew that if I could get my clients to stay on their plan for 21 days or more a big part of the battle had been won. Their new healthy habits are now an integral part of their life.

3.     Accountability
I truly believe that being accountable in one form or another makes one likely to stick to their goals. I formed an alliance with my trainer and I made sure I didn’t miss training sessions and that we were talking about my goals continuously. I do the same thing for my clients. I won’t let them give up and I won’t give up on them. They have weekly check in forms, weekly check in calls and monthly measurement charts to help them stay on track. The fact that, that they are paying for a valuable service; an investment in their mental and physical health and in their future keeps them committed to the process.

 
4.     Small tangible goals
Finally, when making a lifestyle change it is important to set S.M.A.R.T. goals. I have helped my clients do this and it makes it a lot easier to work towards a few pounds in the present rather than a lot of pounds in the far away future. More specifically rather than “I want to lose weight”, I work with my clients to come up with a tangible goal, a specific number than we can break down by month and by week. Trust me, it is a lot easier that way. Imagine if you want to lose 50 pounds and you get on the scale and find that you’ve only lost 4 pounds. You think to yourself, “What? 4 pounds after ALL that? Forget it”. Whereas if you are working towards losing 4 pounds every 4 weeks it’s something to celebrate and you’ll work harder towards your next 4 pounds.

Take stock of your progress. Where are you succeeding? Where are you struggling? Are you still on your journey? It doesn’t matter if you have gotten off track. You can always start over. Today is a new day. Seize the opportunity and resume your weight loss journey with a plan and a purpose. 



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New Year's Resolutions

12/23/2012

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The New Year is upon us and it symbolizes many things for many people. For some people it’s time to tighten up their finances, for others it’s to travel to new places, others will embark on a journey of self-discovery and others will choose to lose weight. I have had all of these things on my list one year or another but the one that constantly showed up was the resolution to lose weight. Year after year I wrote my resolutions and every year I began with zeal and determination, only to be thwarted on day 9, day 29 or day 49. How many of you can relate to that? If you’re anything like me, you probably start to feel bad about having the same resolution on your list year after year that you no longer tell anyone about it. In fact, not only did I hide it from people, I didn’t believe myself anymore and my determination began to dwindle.

But 2009 was different; we had evacuated Hurricane Ike and settled in Maryland. We were starting everything from scratch and I threw in my weight loss goals in the mix once again. This time I teamed up with an awesome trainer who was instrumental for pulling me through and pumping life into me the majority of my journey. I tried different things and adjusted based on my success and changes began to occur. I was in a learning phase, having enrolled back in college and making new discoveries about myself. So it was no surprise that my mind was open and receptive to learning things I did not know about the human body, food, nutrition, weight loss and fitness.

Fast forward three years and I have kept the weight off, I am making new goals, aiming higher and I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I wrote a manifesto with details about my journey and what I went through. I created Shelter’s Weight Loss as an avenue to share my insights and create a service where I coach other people through their weight loss journey. I continue to do research and share helpful information in a way that is easy for people to understand and practice in their own lives. I provide personal support, motivation and encouragement to people who are in the same position I was for many years. I am working with some amazing individuals, many of whom are seeing incredible results. I have learned many things about setting goals, creating a plan of action and seeing it through to the end both from my own experience and from other women’s experiences. People see the end result and often ask how I got here. I am a busy wife, mother, graduate student and full time employee. I get it, we’re all busy, life is tough and finances are challenging. But with the right kind of plan of action and support, anything is possible. Through out my FREE webinar I will be sharing information about how to set realistic, attainable goals and how to create a plan of action and what you can do to ensure that you follow through with it.

In addition to personal experience I will be talking about some fascinating research related to motivation, acquiring and keeping new habits. Watch the webinar and make 2013 the year you get healthy and lose weight once and for all. It is completely private and no one will know you're on it unless you want to share.

The webinar took place on December 27, 2012. Click HERE to view the recording.



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Happy Thanksgiving

11/19/2012

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I bet most of you are expecting me to tell you not to eat your thanksgiving dinner, to grit your teeth and stick to your diet. Think again! Today I am here to talk about the two types of people there are as we roll into the holiday season. It is up to you to decide which one you are and how to proceed.




The “Keep it tight, keep it right chic”
This gal knows what time it is. She is the queen of compliance. She sticks to her meal plan to a T and doesn’t deviate. Even her cheat meals and cheat items are well calculated and she never goes over board. She has seen a steady decline in her weight since she started and she feels good about where she is and where she is going. When we talk about thanksgiving dinner I tell her, girl relax. Eat whatever you want and don’t worry about it. Drink lots of water and hit the gym on Friday morning. Happy thanksgiving, I’ll talk to you next week.

The “Bites, licks and nibbles gal”

This lady is ok with compliance. She preps her food in advance and eats all the things she is meant to eat each day. But she’ll eat the left over crusts from her kids pizza, take a bite of her husband’s fried mozzarella sticks and his chicken alfredo and his chocolate mousse at dinner. At work everyone knows she’s on a diet so she proudly cuts a slither of the black forest cake because you know she is watching what she eats. So for the most part she does ok, her weight loss fluctuates with some weeks being better than others. When she goes to thanksgiving dinner I tell her, don't go crazy and I think you’ll be fine. You’ll be ok with a little bit of everything. You can have seconds of one or two items but for goodness sake don’t go for thirds. Drink lots of water and hit the gym hard on Friday morning.

I say it’s the holidays, everyone ought to be able to spend time freely with family without “being weird”. So I would never tell anyone not to eat thanksgiving dinner. I would like to make a few suggestions and hope they help you make it through the holiday without the extra pounds.

1. Water- drink lots of it.


2. Alcohol- limit it.

2. Portions- watch them.

3. Seconds- have them.

4. Thirds- just say no.

If you are the one who is cooking thanksgiving dinner I say here is your chance to make it healthy. Hit me up with any recipe and I’d be happy to revise it for you and give you a cleaner, healthier, tasty version. Have a great time with friends and family and give thanks for ALL things
.


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A magic food? I’ll eat it! EVERY DAY!!!

9/25/2012

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One of the things most people struggle with when they first get on one of my program is the importance of a eating breakfast every morning. Yes, yes, we’ve heard it all before there’s nothing new here. But I’d like to offer a novel thought. One that I hope will help you make the shift and start eating a breakfast of champions consistently. If I offered you a pill and told you that simply taking this pill every morning will help you lose 10 pounds this month. Nothing else, just as simple as popping a pill and be on your way. I bet you all would jump on that and I bet you would pay hundreds of dollars for such a pill. Yes, even those of you with a gag reflex would get creative and find ways of making that pill go down your esophagus.

Now that I have your attention and you are waiting to hear what you can eat daily for one month that will help you lose 10 pounds. Eat oatmeal for breakfast daily. I can hear some of you balking at that already. In fact it brings to mind a conversation I had with a friend recently and a conversation I have had with many of my clients repeatedly. They all state that they do not like oatmeal for one reason or another. Luckily I have had plenty of practice because every day my children have one excuse or another as to why they can’t eat their broccoli, their beans or their yogurt. Here is what I tell them and what I tell my clients: “Work it out”.

Here are some tips on how you can learn to eat oatmeal or any other food you know you should be eating but just can’t seem to eat.

1.       Mix it up

It is possible that the way you are making your oatmeal makes it hard for you to eat. Unless you are a true soldier, it is going to be hard to eat plain oatmeal made with water. Here are some ways you can make oatmeal interesting and delicious:

·         Add ½ a chopped apple, 2 tablespoons of raisins and ¼ teaspoon of cinnamon.

·         Add 1 Tablespoon of peanut butter and a packet of stevia or other natural sweetener

·         Add 2 tablespoons of dried cherries, 1 tablespoon of chopped almonds and 1 tablespoon of

            dried coconut.

·         Add ½ a banana and 2 tablespoons of chopped walnuts

·         Add ½ cup of blueberries and ¼ teaspoon of cinnamon

·         Add ½ cup of chopped strawberries and ½ cup of almond milk

·         Add ½ chopped apple and 1 tablespoon of honey or agave nectar

There you have it. Seven different ways to make oatmeal, try one fun and interesting way for each day. Surely you can find a few combinations that you like.

2.       Gagging is all in your head
Some people say oatmeal makes them gag. There are many things that make people gag and the sooner you realize that gagging is a physical response to a mental thought the faster you’ll get over it. What are you saying to yourself as you take a bite of the oatmeal? Change the dialogue in your head, tell yourself “This is great”, “This is healthy”, “This is fun”, I’m about to be super FINE” and soon enough you’ll find that the gag reflex has gone.

3.       One bite at a time.

Commit to taking one bite on day one, two bites on day two, three bites on day three and so on. This makes it less daunting and easier to manage. If you only have to eat one bite on the first day it takes the pressure off and allows your mind to relax and your body more receptive to eating it.

I’m challenging each of you to try this for 30 days. If by the end of 30 days you haven’t seen some amazing results in terms of your energy levels, better focus, more self-control, curbed cravings and a jump start in your weight loss give me a call and I will work with you personally to figure out how we can make breakfast work for you. You gotta email me and let me know that you are going to try it and we can track your progress together.

Enjoy your breakfast!




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Food Preparation

8/6/2012

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I have a lot of people tell me they can’t change their eating habits because they are too busy. I totally get it, I’m busy too. I’m a grad student, I work, I am a mom and I have a life. I just like the next person do not have time to be standing in the kitchen preparing meals daily. At the same time I don’t want to eat packaged foods all the time. I have had to become a little creative about how I manage my time; how I create delicious meals that I actually look forward to everyday and keep them healthy to manage my weight.

I have made Sundays prep days. What does this mean?

I plan out what I am going to eat for the week.

I do my grocery shopping.

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This week's food preparation involved cutting fruits and vegetables including strawberries, cantaloupe and cauliflower.
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I also chopped celery, onions, peppers and zucchini and potatoes.

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I cooked three dishes this week; turkey curry, minestrone soup and beef chilli (shown below)
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The finished product, beef chilli with 10grams of fat, 35 grams of carbohydrates and 30 grams of protein.
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Another finished product, minestrone soup with 4g of fat, 30 grams of carbohydrates and 13 grams of protein. I usually eat this with half a chicken breast (not shown) to boost protein intake.
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Another finished product not shown is the turkey curry. I created this recipe and it is a healthier, cleaner version of traditional curries and is delicious and nutritious. It contains 2 grams of fat, 15 grams of carbohydrates and 28 grams of protein.

I partition individual servings of the food I have cooked into containers.

I put individual servings of chopped fruits, vegetables and nuts into small bags.

This makes eating healthy extremely simple and convenient. It is a matter of grabbing an item on my plan and going.

So even if I have had a long day at work and I am exhausted, I find comfort in knowing that dinner is already prepped and I simply heat and eat. In addition, having my food already prepped ensures that I don’t eat random things that are not on my plan and it also prevents over eating. Whenever I do not prep my food in advance things usually fall apart as I do not have time to cook as I go. This coming week try to prepare healthy food for the week and see what a difference it makes.   




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Tips on Eating Out

7/18/2012

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A lot of people tell me that they struggle with losing weight because they eat out so much. My first reaction used to be, “Well don’t eat out then”. Haha, I know. I recognize that it is flawed to an extent. What I really should have said is if you have a choice, do your best to eat home cooked food as it gives you the greatest control over what you are eating. When eating out be mindful of your meal plan and do your best to eat within those parameters. Some of my clients have ‘cheat meals’ or ‘reward meals’ at certain times. These are basically meals where they can eat anything outside their meal plan. These should be eaten within reason of course. You certainly do not want your ‘cheat meal’ to completely undo everything you have worked on all week. That is to say, do not go all out and drink a bottle of wine and eat chicken alfredo, fried calamari and tiramisu. That alone will make you gain a couple of pounds in one sitting. A ‘reward meal’ serves to take the edge off, fulfill the desires you have had for a certain food and allow you to feel free and at ease eating out with friends and family. It should not be an all-out pig fest.

Recognizing that many people lead busy lives, are out an about and have to eat out more often than they eat at home, I wanted to give some pointers on how I stay in control of how I eat even when I eat out.

1.       Check the menu before you go
I find it helpful to look at the menu of the restaurant you are going to before I go. This allows me to make a choice without being influenced by the pictures, what others are eating or the awesome special the waiter has been paid to sell. Many restaurants also have nutrition information on their websites. Believe me; you’ll think twice about eating that chicken alfredo after seeing that it can sometimes contain a whopping 3000 calories!

2.       Eat a small snack before you go

There is nothing that can blow a diet faster than being in a restaurant feeling hungry. I’m given the menu and suddenly everything looks good. I have discovered that I think clearer when I am not hungry and can make wiser food decisions. I now keep a stash of nuts in my car and I’ll eat a few just to take the edge off. I also try to have fruit on hand which I’ll eat before I get to the restaurant.

3.       Put the fork down.
Those who know me know that this is my favorite saying. In all honesty, many of the restaurant portions are contain 2 or 3 servings. I DO NOT attempt to finish off everything on my plate. I DO divide the dish in half and choose to take the rest to go. I DO share a plate with someone else. I DO stop eating when I am full.

4.       Choose vegetables over starches
We have been trained to always eat a vegetable and a starch. But if at all possible, I try to eat a vegetable and a vegetable. That is, I order chicken, fish or steak and choose to forgo the rice, potatoes and pasta and double up on vegetables.

5.       Avoid creamy sauces and creamy dressings

A salad with a ton of creamy dressing is NOT good option. Vinaigrettes are a better option than creamy dressings. When I eat out, I usually ask for the dressing on the side and use it sparingly. I like to drizzle some vinegar or squirt a lemon over my salad

6.       Grilled and Baked

I also avoid options that are fried and sautéed and instead opt for food that is grilled or baked. And just for the record, I discovered that food that is ‘lightly fried’ or ‘flash fried’ has definitely been completely submerged in cooking oil and therefore regardless of how they label it, it is still DEEP FRIED. Go figure, so I now avoid anything fried regardless of how creative they get with the labeling.


As I have said before, I believe that most things are ok in MODERATION. However if you are in weight loss phase you have to be a little more careful of what you are eating. Sticking to your meal plan is what will ensure your success in losing weight. In essence if you must deviate, deviate thoughtfully and carefully. Once you have reached your goals it does not become a free for all. You don’t want to go back to old habits but you want to remain mindful of how and what you are eating at all times.  Hopefully this little guide will help you stay in control when you eat out. Let me know how it goes.



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A change in circumstances requires you to change your mind.

7/3/2012

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Often people find themselves stuck in a situation. They believe that they are doing everything possible to change their circumstances and they are not sure why nothing is working for them. Over the years one thing has become apparent and that is I don’t know what I don’t know; therefore I am always on a quest for new knowledge. Seeking new information and seeking ways to improve where I am already. This applies to weight loss as well. I have tried many things over the years and done this and that and believed that I knew a lot of things. It wasn’t until I decided to take a completely different approach that I experienced a drastic change in my weight loss journey. Below are a few of the common things that I have heard people say they won’t do when it comes to losing weight. Hopefully as you read these things you can step outside of yourself and recognize the things that you may say that are similar.

1.       I love ________ (insert any food).

This one is my favorite. I hear people say yes I know fries make me fat but I love them so and could NEVER give them up. I am somewhat in agreement. You should get to enjoy the food you love the most. But the issue is when you are in weight loss mode you need to make a shift for a season so that you can see the changes. Once you have reached your goal, you can reintroduce the food you love or some variation of it in moderation.

2.       I hate _______ (insert any food).

Let’s be real here. Clearly the food you LOVE that you eat daily has not helped you lose weight. In fact it’s made you fat. What good does it do you to stick to your guns and declare that you won’t eat one food or another?  I am not saying that you need to be miserable and eat only food that you hate for months on end. I am simply suggesting that you attempt to make an effort to introduce a variety of other foods that are proven to support weight loss.

3.       My family is fat therefore I’m destined to be fat.
The first you have to realize is that the family you grew up in influences your eating behaviors. What you eat, how you eat is largely due to what you were fed growing up. Secondly, there is some genetic component to weight issues. However with that being said you can influence your own personal outcome by the choices you make. You can learn new eating habits and leave those that you grew up with behind. Most importantly, a combination of diet and exercise is no match for any genetic predisposition to being fat.

4.       I don’t know it therefore I won’t eat it.

The fact that you don’t know it and have never eaten it might be the reason you are fat. If someone is telling you that eating a combination of certain foods is going to help you lose weight you owe it to yourself to try it and learn to like it in order to see the changes you desire. The fact that it can help you in your weight loss goals is reason enough to give it a try several times over. Now if you experience an allergic reaction and end up being hospitalized that is a different story but for the most part give, something a try daily for at least a month before writing it off.

5.       I don’t like being hungry.
Correction, your body doesn’t like being hungry. You have conditioned yourself to respond to the sensation of hunger by doing something about it. And no I am not talking about starvation which I’m certain many of us are not at that place. I am talking about the minor discomfort of eating at a caloric deficit. You will have to learn to embrace the feeling of hunger and give it a positive spin in order to lose weight. Say to yourself hunger is a good thing, hunger means I am eating just a little less than my body needs in order to encourage it to burn off this extra fat on my body for fuel. Please be sure that you are not skipping meals and depriving yourself of adequate nutrition. I am talking about embracing calculated well planned hunger such as that in a personalized meal plan.

I can think of many other things that people say that make it hard for them to progress beyond their current circumstance. I hope this post will bring you to a place where you can begin to challenge certain thoughts that you have made you mind up about.   When you hear me talking about some change or another you need to make. At least allow yourself to have the thought that you may need to do things differently, for a season and watch as your life changes and you head into the most fulfilling period of your life.


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Fruit, fruit, glorious fruit!

6/12/2012

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Fruit has been getting a bad reputation lately and it’s been a struggle getting some of my clients to embrace the fruit in their meal plans. I think fruit is great and I have spent some time thinking of all the good reasons to eat fruit. I typically eat 3 pieces of fruit a day such as a banana pre-workout, an apple mid-afternoon and a pear as an evening snack. Other favorites include melons, berries and citrus fruits. I love tropical fruits such as mangoes, guavas and passion fruit and always consider these a special treat. As always the key to managing your weight is moderation as part of a balanced meal plan. It is possible to go overboard and eat too much fruit. Just ask my daughter who once ate 5 bananas in one day!

1.       Fruit mainly consists of water.
This makes it a great way to up your water intake and help you stay hydrated.

2.       Fruit is 100% bad-cholesterol free.
Animal products contain cholesterol so upping your fruit intake is a great way to manage your cholesterol intake.

3.       Fruit stimulates the memory. Science reveals that fruit has a positive effect on our brains so go ahead, eat some and see improvements in your memory and problem solving abilities

4.       Fruit is an inexpensive nutrition
. Shopping at Trader Joe’s has put things into perspective for me because they charge per fruit. Apples are about 69c, coupled with a handful of almonds you have the perfect snack for less than half the price of your favorite latte.

5.       Fruit has healing effects
. Fruits and vegetables contain nutrients that have the amazing ability to heal a number of ailments. Whatever you are suffering from, there’s probably a fruit for that.

6.       Fruit contains fiber. A diet rich in fiber helps you lose weight, reduces high blood pressure, and thereby reducing the chance of developing heart disease. In addition a diet rich in fiber helps you stay regular.

7.       Fruit makes you feel better. Fruit has a positive effect on mood. This is music to any psychologist’s ears. Increase your fruit intake and see an improvement in your mood and general outlook on life.

I hope everyone will make a conscious effort to eat fruit on a daily basis. What are some of your favorite fruits?

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    Shelter is a nutrition coach whose mission is to change people's lives one meal at a time.

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